What About Your Friends?

So I've been thinking a lot since the new year has begun about friendships. I love my friends. And I know that they love me. We tell each other a lot how much we mean to each other. And although we all live busy and productive lives, we make it a point to call one another, text each other funny things, but most importantly, we spend time together. And in times when I need a boost, my friends show up for me in the most amazing ways.

Just like anything else, though, this isn't effortless. It's a fundamental truth that love isn't leisure; it's work. You've got to work at your friendships the same as any other important thing in your life. We make time for what's important to us and to me, there's nothing much more important than investing in my friendships. If hope is the baseline in this blog, there is a lot of hope and inspiration to be had by sharing life with your friends in more than superficial ways.

I think about the time I spent on social media (most of my accounts have been deleted for years) and how it was nice to see what was happening with old pals from high school, former students, distant relatives. But it left me feeling a sense of longing and I had to admit to myself, it wasn't enough. It's fairly well-known by now that social media does more harm than good when it comes to isolation and loneliness but I am speaking from my personal experience. It left me feeling dry. It left me wanting much, much more. And the depth of those interactions felt like the shallow end of the relational pool. It proved to me that what I'm telling you now is true: it was too effortless and it paid back in such a scant way, I know that true friendship comes from true investment.

The year is brand new and my hope is that you'll take some time to reconnect with friends in a meaningful way. A very thoughtful way to do this might be to put the technology down (are you sensing a theme, here??) and pick up a few inexpensive cards. Write a note to a friend, throw a stamp on it, and send it through the mail. Getting an unexpected note in the mail is so refreshing. And the message it sends, above the note that you send, is that you thought enough about the person to go a couple of extra steps for them. I love getting cards and letters in the mail, don't you? But I love to send them, too. Because I know that it's a worthwhile endeavor and a deposit in the "bank of friendship."

Friends are the family that you choose, I've heard it said. And that's absolutely true. Do the work in this new year -- endeavor to be a better friend. And may your friendships be enriched and reinvigorated in 2024!